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Back again with another post so quickly, well quick for me anyway.

I still have so much to say but at the same time have difficulty trying to express that in writing, so these next few posts will no doubt be a little disjointed as I talk about the past few months and then also talk about what’s happening now.

 Looking back over the past few months there have been three main things that I have not been able to accept or “get over”. Unlike Cate who has an ability to learn and move on I have struggled to accept these things and at this stage just can not move on. I know it sounds stupid and immature but they are chewing at me and I just cant get over them. I can see these are holding me back from getting on with life but I just can not stop it!

The first of the issues is FRIENDS.

I’ve always lived by the thought that if you let people into your life, you will get hurt. To save getting hurt, I simply just do not let people into my life. Therefore as such I don’t actually have anybody that I refer to as “my friend”. There are even parts to me that even Cate has not cracked her way in. But nether the less we as a family have/had people close enough to us that family members called them friends. These friends were present in one way or another all way up to the point that we were evicted from the house. Now wether us being evicted was of our own doing or through the doing of others is irrelevant, one would expect that our friends would provide some level of support, even if it was only a phone call or email to say “hey were here if you need us”…. But no… we were now homeless and publicly so and that apparently means that nobody wants anything to do with you anymore. The so called friends went into hiding. Ran for the hills even!!

Personally I found this a discussing act and very hurtful. As uncomfortable as it might be to communicate with a “homeless family”, friendship should be stronger than that. And to use excuses like “I didn’t know what to say” or “I thought I’d just make it harder for you” just does not cut it, it’s a cop out. If it wasn’t bad enough living in a tent and van, moving every three or so days and feeling like EVERY person you went past was looking at you because they just knew you were homeless, not having anybody familiar to communicate with just made things feel so much worse.

Just to go back for a second, after a few weeks I had to ask Cate about the feeling I had that no matter where I was, it really felt that people were staring at me because I had “homeless” written on my forehead. Cate felt exactly the same thing, it was a horrible and humiliating feeling. But I digress!

Strangely enough during our travels we met a few people that for various reasons were in similar situations dealing with their issues and to my surprise these people stopped and took the time to talk to us, to communicate with the kids and allowed them to feel human. How sad is it that a complete stranger with their own demons to deal with could offer support when the so called friends left us for dead. And that is why I just can not move forward on this issue.

Maybe I could throw in a positive post next time?? Lets wait and see, but before I go I would like to know, what would you do in this situation? Put yourself in the position of the “friend” be honest with me and let me know, what would you do, how would you feel? I’d appreciate the comments to help me find a way past this issue. But of course, play nice… If you want to be nasty, I’ll just close the comments altogether.

Thanks for taking the time to read my ramblings.

 Rick

I guess that unless you have lived under a rock or on the moon you will know that the past two months have not been the most enjoyable. If, by some chance you have no idea what I’m talking about, please read Cates blog at www.catherinebolt.com

I have so much to say that it might be best if I break it down into sizeable chunks and post individually. I will however point out that I am not Cate, I have different views, ideas and outlook then Cate. I can not write as well and I can not clearly articulate my thoughts like Cate. I do not speak like Cate and I do not form friendships like Cate and no doubt you will see over the coming posts that what I have learnt and what I am still struggling with is different to Cate. BUT that’s what helped get us through so far the issues we faced to this point, we are different, we look from different angles and we can work together…. To survive.

Strangely enough just like Cate the past couple of months have taught me many things, Things that I thought I already knew about! Homelessness, friendship, crisis management even just trying to keep a family together, So if nothing else good comes of the issues and experiances we have faced, I have gained some very valuable experience in a side of life I actually knew nothing about. All sounds confusing?

Prior to Cates very public description of our families’ homelessness, how many of you had even given a second thought about the homeless situation in Australia? How many of you had/have the same pathetic ideas as I did that only drunks, druggies and those with mental issues were homeless? Well I learnt first hand that is not the case. AND it hurt, it still hurts now. The reasons I’m still hurting I will save for other posts. I never knew how big an issue homelessness is in Australia. I never knew just how little federal and state governments know or care about homelessness. I never knew just how kind some people can be and how destabilising and down right hurtful others including Government departments can be… Again more detail to follow in further posts.

To finish this post may I please request something of you? To help me help a couple of charities? During the period of our homelessness there were two charities that stood tall and forced me to swallow my pride and accept help. No matter how humiliated and humbled I felt, these charities stood by us and helped us survive.

The first is St Vincent De Paul (most importantly the Coolum branch), without the help of a very special group of people we would have faced some even bigger issues. And even as late as today SVDP and there helping me deal with the issues that still affect my family and I. Therefore if it is possible in any way, can you please spare a few dollars and donate it to St Vincent De Paul’s? If you get the chance, say thank you for me.

Second and by no means last is 4Walls. Without the intervention of this unbelievably wonderful group of people I’m not sure we would have survived as a family group. From nowhere they were able to place us in temporary accommodation, furnish the house and make us feel wanted and Human. And through their actions (and a couple of other special people) the Bendigo Bank has opened an appeal to raise funds to help 4Walls with their work with the homeless. The appeal is called “Cates Cause”. Please if you could spare any money at all for this appeal it will go towards helping those who really do need help.

Please support “Cates Cause” a national appeal against homelessness. You can donate online or any Bendigo Bank  http://tinyurl.com/catescause

This has gone a bit longer then I planned and I have so much more to say. Please continue to follow my blog and invite others to share my experiences?

Rick